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In this journal, I've meant to describe the path that I'm taking in learning to animate. I'd prefer that path to be, if not straight, at least always moving forward.

But that's not happening.

Since my last post I have:

1. Started to learn Toon Boom Studio.
2. Become enamored with the world of silent films.
3. Struggled with the part of my FAS course where I'm learning to paint with gouache.
4. Bought more books on animation than I care to admit.
5. Gotten depressed about how late to the game I am, angry at myself for wasting so much time and frustrated about how good I want to become but fear I never will be.

Since my last post I have not:

1. Animated.

Animation. I've thought about it. I've read about it. I've watched it. I've browsed the web looking for a lot of information about it. But I haven't done my work. Basically I'm spinning my wheels and procrastinating. Why? I think because this battle started inside my head with one side being "You need to learn principles if you're going to be any good" and the other side being "The whole point is to create something, so stop with the ball bounces, start creating a film".

The thing is, I think both thoughts are correct. So what to do?

Well, in my procrastinating-based web browsing, I did come across one site that I spent a lot of time reading: Mario Furmanczyk's Animated Buzz. Mario journals his years at CalArts as an animation student. I took a lot of great information away from what he wrote but most importantly, for me: deadlines. The students operate under the deadlines of end-of-year shows and portfolio reviews.

Deadlines. That's one thing I've been missing. And that's what I'm setting for myself. Maybe most people can create all good and well without them but, at least right now, I need the guardrails of deadlines to keep me on track.

So to balance the "learn principles" vs. "create something" aspects, I'm setting a deadline for myself to work on and learn animation principles and storytelling knowing that eventually I'll leave the training wheels behind and start on creating performance pieces and short films. March 21, 2007. The first day of spring.

I'm continuing the FAS course (I'll be turning in a crappy gouache painting) and I draw a little every day.

And I dream.